This summer I have come back from holidaying with my 2 boys (the 3rd furry one had to stay at home with the grandparents) feeling really empowered and possibly the most chilled out........and that feeling seems to be lasting!
At the point of writing the above paragraph Ren (my little Refluxing Rascal/teething/does he now have a cold or hayfever boy) woke coughing only half an hour into his nap which was already 2 hours late.... To get him to nap today (21/06/2017...Summer Solstice and HOTTEST day of all time) I had to take him for a walk through a little wooded area close to our house.
Slowly we walked under the canopy of trees that shaded us and provided a hypnotic pattern of differing green shades and colours. Ren gazed up calmly and sat back in his seat allowing himself and his body to rest and relax. The buggy bounced and rocked as we forged ahead over tree roots and the rambling woodland floor......All in all I owe the trees a massive thank you for helping to get Ren to sleep on this day of extreme heat.
I am telling you this because as we came to the end of the walk I noticed a tree covered in climbing vines. For some reason it made me think about this...................
I feel at times that being a Mum (and Dad) is a bit like being that tree trunk....you can slowly get covered up in vines. Except our vines are in our head and can often consist of;
what you think you should be doing
what you think you should be saying
what you think you should be thinking
Get rid of the 'should' and focus on freeing your mind up from those vines so that you can be true to your unique Mama Flow.
This is Your life and this is Your family and you are free to do things your way. I was about to write a list to say, 'so if you are at home/going out to work, doing this or that, it's all fine, go for it'. But I stopped and didn't get past my first listing because you, your choices and your life's are so much more complex than a category. And this is what I want us to try and expand beyond.
We, as people, as mothers, as parents are more than a category, so please don't try and shoehorn yourself into one or feel that you need to conform. The best way is your natural way!
Sometimes it is about having the confidence to back yourself (from experience I know sleep deprivation can get in the way of this at times) , to back your ideas and your beliefs. If this is what is holding you back try and find a way to boost your confidence;
talk to friends/peers/join online groups....it's important that you do this in a setting that allows you to gain confidence not to feel more inhibited.
research facts, science etc
find a parent blogger you resonate with
explore different mother/father and baby classes
communicate with your partner
Lastly I will remind you to try as hard as you can to go with the flow rather than panic. Today I could of got really uptight that Ren did not nap at the 'correct' time and for the 'correct' quantity of time. Yes he will probably be up later tonight (he was for your information with a stinking cold and a river rapid of sweat from the crazy summer heat). But he is safe, happy, healthy and his normal nap routine WILL resettle (next day we were back to normal)....just like he will grow up and soon I will miss all of this as we navigate much bigger issues together.
I have Baby Massage & Baby Yoga to thank for helping me to find and be confident with my Mama Flow. If you are interested in Baby Massage/Yoga and how it can help to support you and your family please do get in touch.