We have made it to 1 week. TODAY Pearl was 1 week old and we as a family of 4 were
1 week old. . The journey to this 1 week milestone has been full of hormones, emotions, pain, worry, LOVE and awe!!!
I left hospital 33 hours after Pearls birth...... although it was much more relaxing and kind of dreamy being in hosp (I was lucky that the ward was to full and after waiting in the after surgery area for a few hours I was given a room!) i wanted and needed to get home to Ren. . We had been apart for 4 nearly 5 days and I just knew this would have a huge impact on him....... I can't imagine being away from my parents for this long as a young child..... so all I wanted was to be reunited, to let him know that I loved him, that he was safe and that i was there for him.
He didn't visit the hospital or video phone etc it would of been too much, too upsetting for him. our initial reunion was heart wrenching. He just didn't know what to do. I could see he was filled with emotions bigger than his body. So instead we just went and played 'keep the balloon up' in the kitchen as if nothing had happened. . Daddy then brought baby sister into the house and Ren was so excited he helped move the car seat in......... . For me as a Mum this will stay with me..... this moment of total over whelm for us both and then Pearl being the calm that helped to ground us for a magic moment.
This week has flown by and although it's been Crazy hard for us all it's also been flipping AMAZING. Today on Pearls 1 week birthday I can say we had the best day. This photo is of us at ASHRIDGE woods. The outing didn't start of smoothly. Outings can be hard for Ren as his Autism means that transitions to begin or end something can be very hard. With ALOT of patients and love we got on track for family fun together........and it was precious.
. This week I really feel we have come so far....... Autism IS part of our family, its part of our every day and it has been a part of this journey from 3 to 4. Tonight I managed to wash Rens hair for the first time since being home.....for us this is a great break through In getting our gang back to 'normal'.
So my message is this, no one's normal is the same as someone else's. no family, no experience of growing a family is the same....similar, maybe. but not the same. . Talking helps....sharing experiences, stories, ups and downs helps. it can help you....to see how blessed you are as you celebrate the positive (however small or fleeting it may seem) and it can help others to identify with elements of your journey and gain warmth from your honesty. so I'm just being honest........
The sheer magnitude of my vbac (vaginal birth after csection) experience, leaving Ren, being reunited, a baby with tongue tie (which thankfully I got sorted in days), cracked and bleeding nipples (thankfully ok now Pearls tongue tie has been sorted and I received lots of bf help), 3rd degree tear recovery, general birth recovery, sleep deprivation, new milk hormones, overwhelming love, worry and all that's inbetween and all around...... all of it has hit us in under a week and we are still here and still full if love....... We can do this, YOU can do this.......... focus on the love and the rest will sail by.
xx Colette xx